Well its thursday... there is a feel to thursdays I think...its like how sundays always have a feel.... well today thursday felt like "really are you kidding me?? How can it not be friday?!?!?!" Not that I particularly have anything against thursdays I just wish it was friday...
Today I am feeling good, last night my BFF tortured me by forcing me to run... lol but it was good, as much as I begrudgingly do not want to admit it exercise does make you feel good... boo... and all this time I swore it was just pizza that could make me feel good...
Feeling good does have its dark side though... its the feeling of waiting for the shoe to drop in a sense.. but I do try to apply my tools learnt in therapy and really my saying is "what if it really doesn't matter" which is a huge accomplishment to my "what if..insert WORST case scenario..." So I feel that is a good change so far.
I do feel timid to rejoin the world again... a big gun shy but my Dr says I cannot hide out and use therapy as an excuse to linger in my cave forever... I must start to learn how to live life in a balance, how to apply my new found skills to the world in which I belong.... I sort of feel like Bambi right now, shaky legs and all...
The future ahead is not so grim and black... its a bit more grey now, I am ok with grey....
J x
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