gone

In one swoop I have lost myself again... when will I learn...when will I walk down a different road then the one I soon swiftly destroy...

I am tired again of this life. It has once again lost all its purpose. Not sure what to do.

This life is a devastating joke...and I am the butt of it...

just a thought today

There are so many people we meet along this journey... some fantastic some bad some forever and some to forget... but each are unique and special in their own way... and whether it be that we cross their paths or they cross ours, each meeting is a unique encounter... you never know what will grow from it...

J x

Monday Nov 8th

A monday in november...here we go, not sure how many days till christmas but I get the sneaky suspision that its going to spring upon us when least expected...

Today I am going to start my workbook in assertiveness..this should be interesting I think... as how assertive am I? I know I can be a pushover one day and then completely over the top pusshy the next...I am sure this will lead me to discover more about my deep seeded issues once again...yes I know its a good thing!

Its rainy here today.... perfect day for soup and movies (ok I admit I just had soup for breakfast!) and movies will have to wait and I am going to hit the gym after work! Time to boost up the endorphins after a long weekend of self abuse!


Happy days to you all..
J x

stepping forward

Its all about the breathing really, and acceptance... just accepting things and moving on is a feat... its hard to let go of the past as memory sometimes serves only to retain the happy thoughts and releases the bad..which makes it hard to move on... but we all know deep down what the answer is, even when we dont want to hear it we still know...

As they say when something is removed from your life it creates a hole, but you must see that hole as an opening for something new to come in and fill.... its something we should be happy about, there is room for more now..

Just putting one foot in front of the other and trying to remain happy throughout.... I have been happy before, and I will be happy again! I know its possible!!!

Its friday... yay...

hugs to you all
J x

Confusing

Days are so up and down... one day is good one day is bad..how many emotions can one person possibly run through...its very frustrating...I just want things to be normal and I want to be normal..a normal happy person living and extrodinary life...is that so much to ask!!!!!

It just doesnt make any sense...none of it... it completely boggles my mind.. and then I hear that others are struggling too and things make even less sense...why does life involve such struggles? Why is it not shiny happy people everywhere? Why is figuring out yourself the hardest thing on this planet to achieve??

I am moaning...I dont mean to moan... its just that its a garble of things in my head and I just want them straighted out.....

Yes day by day step by step.... it gets better, its always darkest before the dawn, blah blah blah... ok I will listen to the cliches for now...

hugs
J x

Its time

Its time to start thinking towards the future... it seems so dark and so uncertain... I am questioning every thought I have... I mainly want to run away and start an new life again... get away from it all here... enough of this.... Or do I stay buckle down and just move on...

I think heartbreak is one of the greatest things to get over... it encompasses all that is you and all the dreams you had for the future and all the hopes that exsisted in that... and then its just gone... and the world is grey... and its the reminders that kill us... the plans that were made and pass by... its all gone... and with it goes the hope as well...

Dwelling is not healthy I know.. moping around isnt either... its just letting go of the pain that is hard....

hugs.
J x

TGIF

Late blog today... its been a day of ups and downs.... But think I got it..the key is to make myself happy and worry about the others later....that was some great advice received today!

One day at a time.... and if life were so perfect there wouldnt be so many movies and shows about it not being perfect right?? So I am not the only one....

J x :)